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majorshrapnel
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Date Posted：2024-10-09 08:26:30 Growing old is something you do if you're lucky It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are ingenious Before I speak I have something important to say Groucho Marx You know that look that women get when they want sex? Me neither Steve Martin When choosing between two evils I always pick the one I haven't tried before Mae West There are a number of mechanical devices which increase the sexual arousal of women, a Ferrari is one of them P J O'Rourke A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it Bob Hope All I ask is a chance to prove that money won't make me happy Spike Milligan A secret is something that is only repeated to one person at a time Robert McCrum |
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-09 08:50:47 We can always expect the Americans to do the right thing, after they have exhausted all the other possibilities Churchill
I've often had to eat my words and a wholesome diet they have been Churchill
He's a sheep in sheep's clothing Churchill |
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tommytalldog
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-09 11:47:21 "History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it" Churchill. |
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-09 12:30:26 The good thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore somebody they think it's their fault Henry Kissinger When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England but after sitting next to Mr Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England. Churchill's mother Jenny Jerome |
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tommytalldog
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-09 01:44:34 "I did not attend his funeral, but I did send a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain.
"We should forgive our enemies, but not before they are hanged." Heinrich Heine.
"I had a happy childhood, whatever scars I have are self-inflicted.
James Carville.
"I am in favor of self-mutilation & personal disfigurement." George Carlin.
"There is no such thing as good Government. Only an apparatus to exploit & corrupt its citizens." Tolstoy |
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-09 02:19:36 A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised. U.S. comedian Fred Allen Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. The inimitable George Burns |
MarkUK
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-09 02:57:30 The one at the bottom of my posts is my favourite. It's from Arnold Bennett's 1918 novel The Pretty Lady. |
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-10 07:29:09 Puritanism, the haunting fear that somebody somewhere may be happy. H.L Mencken
If ignorance is bliss, this boy is in for a life of undiluted happiness. In a school report quoted in a letter to The Times |
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tommytalldog
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-10 12:59:44 "I was so poor but lucky I was born a boy, or I'd have nothing to play with"
"You know how many people work for the government? One out of four"
Rodney Dangerfield. |
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-10 03:31:49 I am a marvellous housekeeper, every time I leave a man, I keep his house. Zsa Zsa Gabor |
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-10 03:34:00 Bigamy is having one wife too many, Monogamy is the same. Oscar Wilde |
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-12 09:56:44 Those are my principles and if you don't like them, well I have others
She got her looks from her father, he's a plastic surgeon
And one for the election.... All people are born alike, except for Democrats and Republicans
All from Groucho Marx |
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-13 12:16:55 We are never so generous as when giving advice. - French 17th-century moralist Francois de La Rochefoucauld
I always pass on good advice, it's the only thing to do with it, it is never of any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde |
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tommytalldog
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-14 04:02:34 We never advertise because our target audience is not sitting around watching T.V.
Ferruccio Lamborghini |
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tommytalldog
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-15 11:48:10 "When you buy a dog, don't do the barking for it. Leave the lower-level tasks to others." Warren Buffet |
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tommytalldog
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-16 05:33:34 "If the food runs out, we have each other." Hannibal Lector
"He who has not a uterus should shut the fucketh up" Fallopian 13:13 |
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-16 06:55:05 A few from Oscar Wilde
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing
True friends stab you in the front
America is a country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilisation in-between
I can resist anything but temptation
How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she was a perfectly normal human being |
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MarkUK
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-17 07:37:50 Very apt on his 170th birthday. Stephen Fry played Oscar Wilde in the 1997 film Wilde, one of those instances in which you feel the actor was born to play that part.
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shula
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-17 07:39:01 I just watched the trailer on YouTube. Stephen Fry is a natural for the role.
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-17 08:34:01 Hear no evil, speak no evil and you'll never be invited to a cocktail party Oscar Wilde |
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majorshrapnel
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Re：Reply Topic Date Posted：2024-10-17 08:34:58 You must come again when you have less time. - Painter Walter Sickert to a departing guest |
